20 Years of "I Do's": Lessons on Love, Laughter, and Marriage

As I wrap up my 20th year officiating weddings, I find myself reflecting on the incredible privilege of standing alongside couples at the very beginning of their shared journey. I've had the honor of witnessing countless declarations of love, the first moments a couple commits to one another in front of family and friends. It’s a sacred, exhilarating, sometimes hilarious moment—one that never gets old.

And while I guide others through these first steps of marriage, I can't help but think about my own journey. I’ve had my share of relationships—some brief, some long-term—and yes, I’ve made mistakes along the way. But with each relationship, I learned something: about love, about patience, about communication, and about myself. Now, after more than 20 years of marriage, I see those lessons woven into every ceremony I officiate.

Love isn't always glamorous. Some highs make your heart soar, and some lows test your patience, resilience, and humor. There have been moments so funny I still chuckle years later, like the groom who nervously handed me a speech only to realize he had written it for someone else entirely, or the bride whose dog ran off with her bouquet mid-ceremony. And there have been moments so profound that I've had to dig deep into the reservoir of grace for myself and my partner. The truth is, relationships are messy, complicated, and beautiful all at once.

Lessons—and Laughs—from the Wedding Frontlines

Over the years, I've collected stories—some funny, some touching—that remind me how wonderfully unpredictable love can be:

• The groom who got so nervous he fainted… just slightly, thankfully, right after saying “I do.” We all laughed (after making sure he was okay), and it became a story they’ve told for years.

• The bride, whose veil got caught in the wind, spun gracefully into her partner’s arms mid-vow. Romance—and a bit of slapstick—ensued.

• The couple who insisted on including their toddler in the ceremony… only for the little one to grab the rings and run. Let’s just say we all chased a very proud “ring bearer” before the vows were official.

• And the many times I’ve watched couples cry through the vows, not because of nerves, but because the reality of commitment—the beautiful, messy, lifelong kind—hit them fully.

These moments remind me that love is never a straight line. It’s messy, funny, occasionally chaotic, but always worth it.

Advice for Couples: Sticking It Out

From both my experience officiating and living a long-term marriage, here’s what I would tell younger couples:

1. Give yourself grace. You will make mistakes, forget things, and occasionally feel like you’re failing. That’s part of being human.

2. Give your partner space. They will make mistakes too, and they need room to grow and breathe.

3. Communicate, even when it’s uncomfortable. Honest, kind conversation is the glue that holds couples together.

4. Laugh together. Humor is more than a distraction—it’s a survival skill. There’s something magical about sharing a private joke in the middle of chaos—it reminds you that you’re a team.

5. Celebrate the small things. The everyday acts of love—making coffee for your partner, leaving a note, or even just asking about their day—are as important as the grand gestures.

6. Remember the journey. Every relationship evolves. The person you marry may change, and you will too. Learning to grow together instead of apart is the secret to lasting love.

I also tell couples not to shy away from the difficult moments. Arguments, disappointments, and misunderstandings are inevitable. What matters is showing up for each other, even when it’s uncomfortable, and remembering that love is a choice—sometimes daily, sometimes hourly.

A Heartfelt Challenge

So here’s a little challenge for couples: this week, create one memory together that’s just for you—funny, silly, or intimate. And every day, do one small act of grace—say thank you, give a hug, let them have the last bite of dessert. These tiny gestures build the foundation for a lifetime of love. Over time, they’ll add up in ways you can’t even imagine.

As I continue my journey, both in life and behind the altar, I am reminded that love is an evolving adventure. It’s not perfect. It’s sometimes messy. But when nurtured with care, humor, and understanding, it’s the most rewarding work you’ll ever do.

Twenty years of officiating, twenty years of marriage, and countless love stories later, I am endlessly grateful to witness people choose one another—and to have learned a few things about doing the same myself. Treasure the laughter, weather the storms, and never underestimate the power of grace. Because in the end, love is less about perfection and more about showing up—again and again, with an open heart.

Here's to 2026 and another year of new couples, weddings, and another year on the books of my own marriage, celebrating the messy, magical journey of love!

With joy,

Rev. A. Benae Colbért  

Ceremonies For Life | Austin, TX

Legally ordained. Spiritually grounded. Fully inclusive. "I want to marry you!"